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About Bondage (BDSM).
A model in bondage cuffs with a leg spreaderBondage involves people being tied up
or otherwise restrained for pleasure. Bondage is usually, but not always, a sexual
practice.
Studies in the U.S. have shown that about a half of all men find the idea of bondage
to be erotic; many women do as well. As with any study of sexual thoughts and behavior,
the available studies are not well controlled and the best studies are now out of
date.
Mainstream acceptance
Public acceptance of bondage as a valid expression of sexuality has advanced slowly.
Bondage received a positive (if brief) treatment in "The Joy of Sex,"
a mainstream sex manual popular in the 1970s. The publication of Madonna's book,
"Sex", which included photographs of bound nudes, did a great deal to
improve public awareness and acceptance of bondage.
By the 1990s, references to bondage could be found in mainstream prime-time television
series such as Buffy the Vampire Slayer, where equipment such as handcuffs or collars
and concepts such as the safeword were included as a matter of course.
Divergent views
There are a number of different schools of thought about bondage. The social and
sexual role of bondage varies among these groups, as does the sense of limits. These
groups include:
Members of BDSM subcultures, who see bondage primarily as one of many power exchange
techniques:
Couples who see bondage as one of many sexual techniques
People for whom bondage mainly has fantasy value during masturbation
Those who practice bondage alone - self-bondage.
It is worth noting that bondage has sexual appeal to persons of both sexes and all
sexual orientations. However, a subculture of homosexual men, sometimes called leathermen,
were arguably among the first group to make obvious hints of their tastes in bondage
in public.
BDSM subcultures
The leathermen emulated the biker culture that arose after World War II. While the
bikers were not identified as homosexual, the leathermen admired their toughness,
tenacity, and willingness to ignore mainstream social mores. Consequently, they
adopted the biker style of dress, particularly the use of black leather. While this
served a utilitarian purpose for the bikers, in providing warmth and protection
from "road rash", it was primarily of fashion and fetishistic value to
the leathermen, who for the most part did not ride motorcycles extensively.
The historical record does not reveal the exact nature of the transition from use
of leather as a fashion to its use in bondage. We can speculate familiarity with
the fetishistic value of leather, combined with a willingness to challenge socially-imposed
inhibitions, may have led to experimentation with bondage.
Beginning in the late 1960s, heterosexual groups began to come together to explore
bondage and power exchange. With time these groups have grown and have raised their
profile somewhat, to the point where most U.S. cities of any size have one or more
such groups. A major goal of most of these groups is to provide semi-public opportunities
for BDSM, in an effort to provide a safe environment for relative strangers to engage
in such activities. As such, these groups attach high importance to objective safety
rules, such as the use of safewords.
Couples and Bondage
Couples in committed relationships, outside the BDSM subculture, usually approach
bondage differently. For them, it is an adjunct to sex, one technique of many. While
satisfactory studies are unavailable it seems likely that in relationships of any
duration, most couples will experiment with bondage at least casually at some point.
This may be something as simple as tying a partner's wrists with handkerchiefs or
clotheslines. Some couples will ultimately make bondage, in some form, part of their
sexual routine.
Although reliable data is unavailable, the financial success of companies that market
bondage equipment testifies to the fact that it is more than fantasy to many and
that a sizeable proportion of married couples have made regular use of bondage in
their sexual activities at some point in their relationships.
For the most part, such bondage games end in sex. In contrast, bondage games between
more casually acquainted players in the BDSM subculture frequently end in masturbation
only, or in some cases include no sexual release at all.
Safety rules followed by couples in a committed relationship are frequently more
subjective and trust-based. These differences can lead to culture clash where a
couple with a history of bondage games together encounters the BDSM subculture:
the couple can't understand the insistence upon safewords, while the members of
the subculture can't understand the focus on sexual intercourse.
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